Sobering thoughts about aging

This chart from the National Social Life, Health and Aging Project shows what many of my closest friends and I have to look forward to in the next 5 to 25 years. Just think, in 5 years about 1 in 10 of those who graduated from college in 1979 will have trouble using the toilet. And 13.4 percent will have difficulty simply dressing. Daily living will not be what were told it would be. The golden years aren't looking so golden. I have no desire to fight my own feet in order to put on my socks.

Of course, few things in life remain constant or improve over time. Even wine reaches a point where it gets rancid. We have to accept that inevitable decline in all things, including ourselves. But who determines when the wine is turning bad? There is also the question of whether the wine is actually worsening or whether our tastes are changing.

It seems that life involves a series of reboots and dispelling of myths that can often get frustrating as one begins to have the advantage of a seasoned perspective.

Remember when we were told to drink several glasses of whole milk each day? Well, turns out that's a sure-fire way to die before you even begin having toilet issues. But I fully expect that sooner or later, drinking milk will be fashionable again.

Remember the American dream? Get an education. Buy a small house. Work your way up to a good job in a big company. Get a bigger house. Show loyalty and collect a pension after 30 years or so. Then retire to a warm-weather place and play catch with your grandchildren. Now, a bachelor's degree doesn't guarantee you anything. A small house won't necessarily appreciate enough to ever buy a bigger home and may, depending on the economy, lead you into foreclosure. Pensions are long gone at most companies, replaced by 401k plans. And employers show little loyalty, particularly to older workers, making it almost impossible now to work for just one or two companies in a lifetime. Oh, and those 401k and other savings plans ... turns out they aren't the retirement safety nets everyone said they would be when pensions were ditched.

Aging in America is not the rewarding, respectful or peaceful time we were told it would be or just assumed. Many people who should be at the height of their careers are finding themselves on unemployment lines. What's worse is that the future for these folks looks even more dismal because personal resources are being burned just to get through the here and now. If you are one of the 24.3 percent of the people who can't walk a block when you're 65, you won't even be able to be a respectable homeless person.

Whether one's problems are career, financial or health-related, "baby boomers" were not prepared for this. We adjusted and readjusted as boomers have done since grade school when we had to hide under our desks to protect ourselves from nuclear weapons, only to find out that that was one of the dumbest things we were ever told to do. We survived divorces which became fashionable, retooled our careers as technology took off and gave up drinking whole milk. We quit smoking and kept our hands on the 10 and 2 o'clock positions on the steering wheel. Unfortunately, someone mindlessly talking on their cellphone ran right into us and obliterated everything we worked for in our lives. Guess they didn't take driver's ed.

I am not a fan of aging if on top of having a 9.5 percent chance of having difficulty getting out of bed means that once I am out of bed I have nowhere to go. What good is there in medical science increasing our life expectancy if society and our culture casts us out in our 50s and 60s? I don't want to have difficulty walking across the room, assuming I have a room to walk across, only to find that once I am across it there really isn't anything there worthy of my attention.

Because we've eaten more veggies and get prostate exams regularly, the average life expectancy of men has increased to about 75. It was 10 years less when many of us boomers were born. That's the good news. However, I wonder who is going to take us to the pharmacy after the sun goes down when 30 percent of us won't be able to drive a car at night? I wonder how many of us will even be able to afford a car because no one will give us a job?

You would think everyone would be more supportive of the aging process -- from employers to the entertainment industry to Madison Avenue -- because we all get old if we're lucky enough to avoid premature illnesses or fatal accidents.

Maybe along with prolonging life, we better figure out a way to tweak our culture in a manner that allows mid-life and older folks to be contributing members of society. When we get out of bed in the morning, we want to go to meaningful jobs, see movies we can relate to, read books and publications with something substantial to say. Most of us are capable of working well into our 60s and 70s. If given the chance, some folks are still vibrant contributors in their 80s. But our culturally mindset has to change in order to have a more just and productive society. Just because 9.7 percent of us may walk across the room a little slowly doesn't mean we don't possess knowledge and skills that should be treasured.

I am not ready for the shuffleboard courts. I feel the pressure of time being preciously limited, but fortunately I don't have any of the problems listed in the chart above. At least not yet. And while I am blessed to be relatively healthy, it would be nice to feel like there is still a place on this planet for me that doesn't involve canasta and waxing poetic about the Ed McMahon. As many of my boomer friends would agree, we might not be able to play four quarters of full-court basketball or drink until the wee hours of the morning anymore, but we can think, feel, analyze and contribute in ways we couldn't in 1979.

Yes, daily life is bound to get progressively difficult after a certain age regardless of how many hours you spend on the treadmill. But it doesn't have to be made even more difficult by what seems to be a growing list of societal, economic and cultural shifts. Not being able to properly digest a slice of pepperoni pizza doesn't have to be made worse by losing one's sense of place in the world. Ideally, I would like to go back to an America where grandparents are respected, workers can retire comfortably and I can drink a glass of milk every now and then. Yet, I know that's not the way things are trending. And with the prospect of battling my underwear on the horizon, I have to wonder if Billy Joel was right in singing, "Only the good die young."