This blog's traffic tends to take a severe plunge during the weekends and holidays, so I am heading into the cave for a few days. Time to reassess the blog and life in general. No plans to watch the news or worry about the economy. Simply going to hang upside down so that the world appears upright.

Have a nice Thanksgiving.

Banks bail out on loan modification

Asking for help doesn't always work, particularly when the government and large financial corporations are involved.

Upon learning of our difficulties with keeping our home since my layoff last year, some friends have suggested looking into "loan modification," which allegedly was made easier by the government bailout money and Obama administration mandates. However, as it turns out, loan modification is more of a myth than a solution for the overwhelming number of folks who are trying to save their houses.

It appears the money that the government spent to help the economy and us "little guys" is nowhere to be found, as others have told of similar stories of how they've been shortchanged or ignored entirely. Meanwhile, the banks did pretty well in collecting all that bailout cash. The government doesn't seem to be following up to see if that money is actually going back into the general economy. No one from the Obama administration contacted us to see how the loan modification process went. Where is the accountability?

In our case, we were denied loan modification by Wells Fargo because we were current on our mortgage payments. I told the Wells Fargo people that we eventually weren't going to be current unless they modified our loan (and dropped our PMI) or I found a job that paid comparably to my former position at USA Today. Modification would have involved either lowering our interest rate by at least one point or extending the length of our loan. We were not asking for any handouts, just a bit of relief so that we wouldn't have to wipe out our savings while paying our monthly mortgage. Well Fargo did nothing and opened up the door to future problems for us, which is why we are on the verge of selling.

Unfortunately, selling doesn't solve all our problems. There is nowhere to go in Northern Virginia that's affordable without a decent job or two -- certainly not in Loudoun County.

Like many regular folks, including small business owners, I am disappointed that the bailout money has not gone to helping the people who did nothing irresponsible to end up in this mess. We have a reasonable fixed-rate mortgage that was more than affordable when I was working. In fact, real estate and mortgage people tried to convince us to buy a more expensive house when we were home shopping eight years ago. We resisted. We wanted a bit of a cushion in case things went bad. We didn't expect the economy and my profession to crash for this length of time. Now we need that little extra, meaning we need a current interest rate without having to refinance.

The money allocated to big business does not appear to be trickling down, as unemployment is about 17.5 percent according to the U6 number (includes those who have given up on trying to find work) and more people are losing their homes. The latest wave of foreclosures includes people who were not victims of mortgage scams and who are generally responsible people who have lost their jobs due to companies downsizing.

More and more bloggers, alternative commentators and some radio personalities are talking about this stuff but the politicians don't seem to be listening. If you rely only on the NBC Nightly News or front pages of your newspaper, you aren't getting a clear picture of how bad the economy is and how little the government is doing to fix things.

Maybe we need a million-man-style march on D.C. to get the middle-class message across to those in power. Maybe elections once a year aren't enough. And maybe the banks need a not-so-gentle reminder of who exactly bailed them out in their time of need.

Thankfulness in gloomy times

I was preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday last year, going about my business while working at USA Today, and looking forward to a couple days off. It was announced a week earlier that there were going to be layoffs if not enough people volunteered for buyouts. We were under a similar threat the year before, but mostly older employees volunteered to leave in 2007 so no one had to be forced out. The buyouts in 2007 were more generous and there was no serious recession at that point. Some of the people who took the buyouts said they saw the writing on the wall and wanted to leave while they could. But 2008 had a different feel. Folks saw the economic firestorm that was coming in a business that was failing. So people were more cautious about volunteering to leave.

As I went into the holiday week last year, I was reasonably confident that I would not be laid off. My reasons seemed logical. First, I was there for 13 years and had performed well. Never received a reprimand, was a reliable and hard-working employee, etc. Always got my annual raises and so forth. I knew a lot of folks depended on me and that made me feel good.

Being that it was Thanksgiving, I was certainly feeling thankful I was in a relatively stable situation. Even with the buyouts and then layoffs, USA Today was not doing as badly as other newspapers. Gannett, the mega-company that owns USA Today, seemed well-positioned to navigate out of storm with its flagship newspaper in tact.

I worked in the graphics department but considered myself a complete journalist by trade, not just a visuals editor. Because other supervisors with a journalism backgrounds had left our department in recent years, I was the only manager remaining with diverse editing experience. In a department of about 60 folks, mainly photographers and artists, I figured my editing know-how, managerial seasoning and 16 years of journalistic background at other newspapers prior to USA Today made me a valued resource and would protect me from being laid off. Plus, I worked nights and was heavily involved with production of graphics on deadline. No one else wanted to work that shift, so in my mind I went into Thanksgiving thinking things would be fine.

About a week after Thanksgiving, I was laid off by the long-time managing editor of my department. It was disorienting to say the least. Only two people in my department lost their jobs. How and why I became one of them is still a mystery to me and many other folks. It seemed to defy all logic. The managing editor said little to me in the brief separation meeting. I try not to think about the possible politics or personal reasons that led to the decision, but it's not always easy to block out, especially as the job market worsens and various losses in my life pile up.

On a personal level, I was stunned by the lack of loyalty and empathy I felt as I was given the boot. My manager was someone I had broken bread with many times, had personal and professional conversations with. I was 51. He was about 10 years older than me. He had to know what being over 50 in a recession and coming from a dying business would mean for me. I thought, "why me and why not someone 25 years younger who had no particular attachment to USA Today or newspapering in general?" Why not someone who would have time to rebound when the job market improved? These were my prime earning years -- a gateway into retirement. Now I've shifted from thoughts of retirement to day-to-day survival mode. It's taken a toll on my spirit at times as I am sure millions of other laid off workers can relate to.

Layoffs can ruin lives as this unidentified protester's sign conveys, and I wonder if those making the decisions truly understand that. I don't believe layoffs are always just about business. I think it gets personal and petty at times. Far more people than me have been adversely impacted by my being laid off and by my extended period of unemployment. Trying to get back into a business which is struggling has been difficult. Trying to transition into another related field has been even more of a challenge as the unemployment rate worsens.

President Obama said yesterday that he "will not rest" until employers start hiring again. I sure hope that's true because as Thanksgiving approaches, it's getting real difficult for unemployed folks to feel thankful for much of anything other than perhaps their health and a few loved ones in their lives. Like for many people, unemployment is brand new to me. I worked 29 years without a break and turned down other jobs while at USA Today because I thought the national newspaper was a stable, somewhat-loyal employer. What I didn't see coming was that layoffs are not always driven by rationality or a sense of fairness. When GM stops making a certain truck model, a plant can close. It's not the fault of the workers, but at least they can understand the logic behind losing their jobs. No trucks, no plant, no jobs. I often wish I had that sort clarity.There is still a newspaper being produced 14 miles down the road from where I live. Still a lot of good people doing good work for a pretty vast audience. But it's getting hard living here, knowing I am no longer a part of that, and not quite grasping how I got to this point.

The quest this week is to try to find something to remain thankful for even in times where the future looks bleak. The challenge every day is to cling to some thread of hope that I can return to being a vibrant contributor to an employer that shares my values, ethics and workplace standards.

For millions of people like me, particularly those in their 50s and 60s who know that getting back into the workplace is extra difficult despite our experience and solid work ethics, these are some difficult weeks coming up. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's trigger many emotions. People take inventory at this time of year. Kind of assess where they are at in life. The holidays also coincide with when I was laid off, so there is that to contend with.

While 2009 was a time to try to make things work here by finding suitable employment in the D.C. area, 2010 might involve having to pack our bags. We are willing to go where the opportunities lie, but as of right now, I and many others are not sure where that is. Still, I am thankful things aren't worse and hope that by next Thanksgiving these struggles will be behind me and others who have been unemployed for the last year or longer.

A new threat from China

Chinese drywall. That's the latest imported product causing health problems in America. I have been following this story for a while because I live in Virginia and am exploring moving to Florida -- two of the three states infested with this smelly home-building product. China has killed our dogs and cats with toxic substances in pet food. They poisoned our kids with lead paint in toys. Now they've ruined thousands of our homes with defective drywall. Click here to read more about it.

Sunsets still worth seeing

We went to the National Harbor over the weekend to get away from the worries of my job search, finances, the recession and the general malaise of every day being more or less the same in the 'burbs of Loudoun County, Va. The harbor is just a few miles outside of Washington, D.C., on the Maryland side of the Woodrow Wilson Bridge. It's a fairly new shopping/residential/entertainment area on the banks of the Potomac River. The massive atrium of the Gaylord Resort and Conference Center (pictured above, right) is the first thing to catch your eye as you cross the bridge. From inside, it's quite impressive. Parking is cheap, the scenery is nice and you can really stretch your legs walking along the clean streets and footpaths that wind through and beyond the harbor.

It was a fairly nice November day, with the temperatures hovering around 60 degrees. Yet, there weren't many people in the harbor. Stores were mostly empty. Some restaurants were about 50 percent full, but most had just a spattering of customers. This fairly new complex seemed to be in limbo, with many storefronts still unoccupied and parking lots barely a quarter full. Yet, what was in place and open for business was nice. The National Harbor is doable in an area of the country that is often impossible to deal with because of crowds and traffic -- far less cramped than Old Town Alexandria which lies on the other side of the bridge.

While we went to the harbor for a few hours of escape, thoughts of the recession came to mind with each empty store I saw. As I looked at the many condo buildings, I wondered how many units were unsold. I later investigated and found that as of mid-summer, 400 condos were vacant. In the D.C. area this would have been unheard of just a year or two ago.

There were billboards proclaiming Disney was coming to the harbor, but best I could tell that project is on hold, too. Apparently, Disney bought the land to build a resort right around the time the recession started.

If you look around, it's hard to not notice how much trouble our economy is in no matter where you go. Empty storefronts, undeveloped plots of land and abandoned homes are connected to real human beings who each have a story to tell. This is not some faceless catastrophe or just some problem that is a tax write-off for massive corporations like Disney. I am sure those jobs Disney would have created by breaking ground are needed in the harbor area. Yet, there are many people who prefer to live in denial about many things, including this recession and the lives that are being impacted in a very personal way.

As a side note, a small-business owner who I know recently shutdown her company for financial reasons. Not only did the recession hurt her sales, but many of her friends and acquaintances failed her in various ways through the five years she struggled to run her business. Since she announced the closing, only one friend expressed any kind of condolences. The support systems we sometimes think are in place turn out to be illusions when bad times arrive. I've certainly gotten to know more about people in my one year of unemployment than in my 29 years of working.

It was good to get away from Loudoun County for the day and to see something new, even if the harbor is only about 30 miles from where we live. We don't go far anymore as we try to save money, even on gas. Unfortunately, one can't run from the recession. You can't pretend away the afternoon.

Most of my days involve solitude and, of course, silence from most friends and former colleagues. So I have to force myself to get out now and then -- to see people and something other than the view from my den. I have to remind myself that last December was the end of a job, and perhaps a longtime journalism career, but not the end of life. I still have to continue to look for work no matter the odds or how unjust what happened to me at USA Today was by all accounts. I have to rub elbows with folks, even if in a mall or coffee shop. And while friends and former colleagues might continue to disappear, and storefronts could remain empty for a long time, there is still air to breathe and sunsets to enjoy from any vantage point.