I'm waiting to see if the world is going to end in a few hours.I went for a jog this morning and am getting my haircut later this afternoon. Besides that, I have no grand plans for this sunny Virginia day other than to check out CNN around 9 p.m. ET. The end is suppose to start with a major earthquake, somewhere around Australia. Hopefully, CNN hasn't been hit too hard by layoffs and still has some competent reporters down under.
You all have heard the latest "end times" story by now. No need for me to repeat the theory or even link to it. You can believe whatever you want, of course. Go about your business or wait in church for the mega earthquakes to erupt. Remember, this is strictly a Christian-based scenario, so all other denominations are exempt as far as I know.
Frankly, I don't think the world is going to end today. Not in the Biblical sense. You see, if there is a God, he probably is going to take us out at our lowest point, when we just become hopeless morons roaming a planet that we thoroughly trashed. We're close but not quite there yet.
God probably isn't going to torch the place until we've torched ourselves a tad more. I suspect we still have some work to do in that area -- maybe lob a few nukes at each other or, at the very least, wipe out the fish from the oceans. We need another world war or two, not over oil, but over drinking water. Yup, that's what future wars will be about, according to some observers. Water.
Our simply becoming more obnoxious by the year isn't necessarily going to piss off God enough to say "OK, I am done with y'all." Our growing sense of entitlement, bad manners and worsening driving habits are annoying but not worthy of a good Rapture.
According to the Bible, Jesus wasn't much of a fan of wealthy folks but I doubt he'd blow up the place because the rich are getting richer during the last three decades while the rest of us are going broke. That little Gulf of Mexico/BP thing ... well, probably not good in the eyes of the "maker." I mean most people don't want kids walking on their newly sodded lawns or freshly sealed driveways, so can you imagine how God feels when we wreck an entire body of water and most everything He put in it?
Fortunately, God gives us more than our fair share of mulligans. But we're certainly pushing our luck, particularly in recent years where humans behaving badly, from all segments of society, is becoming the new global norm.
When the tigers go extinct and little Johnny can no longer read or write a complete sentence, I think we'll be on the edge of Armageddon. Until then, there is still some hope.
Any signs of optimism for mankind will likely come in various forms, probably starting with a decline in Fox News ratings. Perhaps people will begin using their turn signals again. Young men may pull up their pants at least to mid-buttocks. Employability will be based on competency, not age, race or gender. Young (and not so young) women will stop using the word "like" five times in every sentence. These are the subtle signs that I will look for in order to feel that we're back on the right path.
Here's another reason the world will probably not end tonight. God has to give us more than just a couple extra weeks on the planet than he gave Osama bin Laden. Fair is fair, right?
Personally, I am thinking we need at least another year to begin to correct our course. That will put us right around the next major doomsday prediction -- the 2012 Mayan calendar's last call. If by then Rush Limbaugh remains on the radio, Rep. Paul Ryan's proposed budget is still under consideration by Republicans and cell phones haven't been banned in nice restaurants, well, maybe we deserve to perish.
I am not sure that any god, Christian or otherwise, will ever end the world. I suspect we will do that on our own. It will probably be a slow and painful process. The real end times may even go unnoticed for decades or be mistaken for something else (economic problems, political strife, climate change, dwindling SAT scores, etc). Eventually, after enough religious zealots have cried wolf for their own selfish purposes, we might all discover that the wolf is not a god. Indeed, the wolf might be us.
