The last waltz is often clunky

Director Martin Scorsese's "The Last Waltz" documents The Band's farewell performance in 1976. It's a concert that includes many guest musicians. As with any farewell performance, there are bittersweet moments. But overall, the musicians seemed to be at peace with their decision to break up the band. They appeared to be having fun in their final show. And they played very well.

I've had a couple last waltzes myself over the years - both musically and in other areas of life. This picture shows the last public performance of a garage band I co-founded, The Clueless Bandits, at a pool party in Chantilly, Va., in 2008. The gig was cut short by a massive thunderstorm, which in many ways seemed appropriate. The band wasn't progressing and the pool party was a complete disaster.

In 2006, a band (Crystal Legend) that I first played in as a kid, performed what was likely to be its final show at a pub in Congers, N.Y. That performance also ended in a bumpy way, with virtually no patrons left to listen to us by the end of the night and no rehearsal time to get ready for the gig for reasons I won't get into. The band played at the same club a year or so before that final gig. The performance went much better.

Playing in bands is tough and often mimics life's other relationship challenges. There are egos and personalities to contend with. There are logistical problems to overcome in trying to produce a product -- the music. There are creative differences and varying skill levels. And like other relationships, such as workplace relationships, bands often end on a bad note, excuse the pun.

It seems most final waltzes don't end on the high that The Band finished on. Instead, we often hang on for too long, hoping that things will improve, or because we are afraid of change. Sadly, broken relationships rarely get better. Just ask The Police, The Beatles, Journey and countless other bands that have gone through intense turmoil.

I think the age of long-running bands like U2 or The Rolling Stones is over. Longevity is a thing of the past. People are less tolerant. Easier to break up than to work things out. I think one can see that in all aspects of society. Divorce rates are much higher than they were 50 years ago. People don't stay in the same job for very long anymore and employers are far too eager to give workers the boot. Even friendships seem vulnerable to the winds of change. A simple move across town can end relationships these days.

Pulling the plug on things that don't work can be a good thing. It can save a lot of wasted time and heartache. Terminating relationships prematurely, however, can also be a big mistake. Through hard times come great achievements.

It takes a lot of life experience and insight to know when to walk away and when to stick with it. Most folks probably would like to walk away on top, like quarterback John Elway did after his Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl in 1999. Unfortunately, that is a rarity. For many of us, professionally or personally, the last waltz is often clunky and imperfect.