Letting go might be the answer

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
 --E. M. Forster


In the last three years alone, I can point to numerous examples of people arriving at places in their lives that were totally unexpected. The recession drove people like me -- former newspaper journalists -- out of a dying occupation. Some got out while the getting was good, taking buyouts and other incentive packages from large media companies like Gannett Inc. Thousands of others became layoff victims through no fault of their own. Very few of us had any plans related to what we would do next. As the recession dragged on, the anxiety increased.


Some of us are getting by, and some aren't. A rare few are doing better than ever. Many are in limbo, piecing together some sort of existence through odd jobs, freelance work or contract positions. I know of people who are glad to be out of the newspaper business, which was always a hard life with late hours and other tough demands. However, no matter how bad those hours were, and no matter how much we knew the constant pressure from deadlines and dysfunctional newsrooms were horrible for our health, there are probably very few of us who would have left that world on our own. A paycheck and familiar skill set that provide some sort of comfort aren't easy to walk away from, especially with double-digit unemployment and age discrimination running rampant throughout our society.


The paths in and out of our careers take a significant toll on our mindsets as well as our bank accounts. Yet, there are worse things than losing jobs or starting over in new fields at half the pay. I believe our lives are altered in ways that we can't even imagine, influenced by big and small events. There is almost always something new to contend with or celebrate.


Some events are tragic. Suddenly we're alone in the world because of the loss of parents or a sibling or a spouse. Or perhaps we lose our ability to walk because of disease. Or our faith is shattered by one too many personal setbacks. Where those losses take us seems somewhat dependent on our resiliency, but there is also a randomness to it that has nothing to do with our character or ability to get back on that proverbial horse.


There is also a vague feeling that there are clues all around us as to what we should do, where to go next, how to survive and maybe eventually thrive. Why some people find those clues while others resign themselves to living out their lives in a dark corner is a mystery. It's not simply a matter of tough-mindedness that determines who rebounds and who doesn't. Life isn't a basketball game. You can't always will yourself to victory or happiness, regardless of what some successful people claim. I certainly don't feel particularly tough, yet I've come back from a number of personal setbacks -- setbacks so severe that it felt a lot easier to give up than to get up. I suppose most people have been at the crossroads at some point in their lives.


Where you land, how you cope with your new realities appears to be predetermined to some degree. You can potentially pave the way to that new place by getting an education or knowing the right people or seeking counseling or spiritual guidance, but that doesn't mean you will get to where you are meant to be. Something else is often at work. Something outside of ourselves. The fortunate ones do seem to get to that place,  but I believe most of us fall a bit short, which is why we probably need more than one lifetime to complete our journeys. Of all the people I know, there is only one or two, who if pressed, could say they are truly at peace and in a place where they belong. Loving your career or your family doesn't necessarily mean you're in balance. Acceptance of the other stuff -- the not-so-obvious things that challenge us all -- is what completes the circle. To get to that place, it seems voluntary or involuntary sacrifice is often required.


Even when we're not willing to let go, it seems that something comes along to force us to abandon our plans in order for us to move closer to our true destinations. The cosmic script must be followed or we begin to feel disorientated or frustrated. But how do we find that script? Is the final chapter always a happy one? How do we know when a wrong choice or bad luck is nothing more than that? How do we know if that choice was truly ours?


I guess if we knew that our lives were predetermined we could all relax a bit. Whether you get cancer or not may be somewhat influenced by lifestyle, but perhaps not as much as we think. What state we live in or profession we pursue isn't so much a choice as it is a process of following the clues that either are forced upon us or that gently sweep into our lives in a way that often seem like pure luck or bad misfortune, but are neither.


In hard times, we tend to look for answers to profound questions. We want to escape the pain. We want things (the economy, job market, our standard of living) to return to pre-2008 levels, even though most economists are now saying things will never be the same. We want one more conversation with a brother, sister or friend suddenly lost in an accident, even though we know that's not possible. We need to let go so that we can continue our journeys, yet is there anything more difficult than true acceptance or bold change?


The last three years have been harder than the previous three decades for many Americans. Some experts in the mental health or social services fields say that our collective spirit has been broken by job losses, wars and an inability to pull together even on issues we should all be in agreement on. Perhaps the harder we try to extricate ourselves from the traps we've gotten entangled in, the more the traps tighten. Maybe the way out of this mess is to let go, to put aside our preconceived notions and to allow things to flow or play out in a more natural way.

Thankfulness in gloomy times

I was preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday last year, going about my business while working at USA Today, and looking forward to a couple days off. It was announced a week earlier that there were going to be layoffs if not enough people volunteered for buyouts. We were under a similar threat the year before, but mostly older employees volunteered to leave in 2007 so no one had to be forced out. The buyouts in 2007 were more generous and there was no serious recession at that point. Some of the people who took the buyouts said they saw the writing on the wall and wanted to leave while they could. But 2008 had a different feel. Folks saw the economic firestorm that was coming in a business that was failing. So people were more cautious about volunteering to leave.

As I went into the holiday week last year, I was reasonably confident that I would not be laid off. My reasons seemed logical. First, I was there for 13 years and had performed well. Never received a reprimand, was a reliable and hard-working employee, etc. Always got my annual raises and so forth. I knew a lot of folks depended on me and that made me feel good.

Being that it was Thanksgiving, I was certainly feeling thankful I was in a relatively stable situation. Even with the buyouts and then layoffs, USA Today was not doing as badly as other newspapers. Gannett, the mega-company that owns USA Today, seemed well-positioned to navigate out of storm with its flagship newspaper in tact.

I worked in the graphics department but considered myself a complete journalist by trade, not just a visuals editor. Because other supervisors with a journalism backgrounds had left our department in recent years, I was the only manager remaining with diverse editing experience. In a department of about 60 folks, mainly photographers and artists, I figured my editing know-how, managerial seasoning and 16 years of journalistic background at other newspapers prior to USA Today made me a valued resource and would protect me from being laid off. Plus, I worked nights and was heavily involved with production of graphics on deadline. No one else wanted to work that shift, so in my mind I went into Thanksgiving thinking things would be fine.

About a week after Thanksgiving, I was laid off by the long-time managing editor of my department. It was disorienting to say the least. Only two people in my department lost their jobs. How and why I became one of them is still a mystery to me and many other folks. It seemed to defy all logic. The managing editor said little to me in the brief separation meeting. I try not to think about the possible politics or personal reasons that led to the decision, but it's not always easy to block out, especially as the job market worsens and various losses in my life pile up.

On a personal level, I was stunned by the lack of loyalty and empathy I felt as I was given the boot. My manager was someone I had broken bread with many times, had personal and professional conversations with. I was 51. He was about 10 years older than me. He had to know what being over 50 in a recession and coming from a dying business would mean for me. I thought, "why me and why not someone 25 years younger who had no particular attachment to USA Today or newspapering in general?" Why not someone who would have time to rebound when the job market improved? These were my prime earning years -- a gateway into retirement. Now I've shifted from thoughts of retirement to day-to-day survival mode. It's taken a toll on my spirit at times as I am sure millions of other laid off workers can relate to.

Layoffs can ruin lives as this unidentified protester's sign conveys, and I wonder if those making the decisions truly understand that. I don't believe layoffs are always just about business. I think it gets personal and petty at times. Far more people than me have been adversely impacted by my being laid off and by my extended period of unemployment. Trying to get back into a business which is struggling has been difficult. Trying to transition into another related field has been even more of a challenge as the unemployment rate worsens.

President Obama said yesterday that he "will not rest" until employers start hiring again. I sure hope that's true because as Thanksgiving approaches, it's getting real difficult for unemployed folks to feel thankful for much of anything other than perhaps their health and a few loved ones in their lives. Like for many people, unemployment is brand new to me. I worked 29 years without a break and turned down other jobs while at USA Today because I thought the national newspaper was a stable, somewhat-loyal employer. What I didn't see coming was that layoffs are not always driven by rationality or a sense of fairness. When GM stops making a certain truck model, a plant can close. It's not the fault of the workers, but at least they can understand the logic behind losing their jobs. No trucks, no plant, no jobs. I often wish I had that sort clarity.There is still a newspaper being produced 14 miles down the road from where I live. Still a lot of good people doing good work for a pretty vast audience. But it's getting hard living here, knowing I am no longer a part of that, and not quite grasping how I got to this point.

The quest this week is to try to find something to remain thankful for even in times where the future looks bleak. The challenge every day is to cling to some thread of hope that I can return to being a vibrant contributor to an employer that shares my values, ethics and workplace standards.

For millions of people like me, particularly those in their 50s and 60s who know that getting back into the workplace is extra difficult despite our experience and solid work ethics, these are some difficult weeks coming up. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's trigger many emotions. People take inventory at this time of year. Kind of assess where they are at in life. The holidays also coincide with when I was laid off, so there is that to contend with.

While 2009 was a time to try to make things work here by finding suitable employment in the D.C. area, 2010 might involve having to pack our bags. We are willing to go where the opportunities lie, but as of right now, I and many others are not sure where that is. Still, I am thankful things aren't worse and hope that by next Thanksgiving these struggles will be behind me and others who have been unemployed for the last year or longer.

This is the real unemployment number. Yep, one in six Americans are out of work or are severely underemployed. Yet, the government wants the public to focus on the misleading 10.2% number it released on Friday - not that the lesser number is anything to feel good about. Read the whole truth here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/07/business/economy/07econ.html?_r=1&hp=&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1257606205-mqGmdpcBD0gTILkBBxWlIg

And just to dispel the notion that it's easy to find a job in areas like Washington, D.C., take a look at this article. Even jobs at the mall are hard to come by. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/06/AR2009110603958.html?hpid=newswell

However one wants to juggle statistics, there is no escaping the fact that most employers aren't hiring and some are getting ready for more layoffs. Those layoff victims from severely failing industries virtually have no hope of being rehired. Those wanting to transition to other careers have to get in line behind the folks who already have experience in those fields. After a certain age that just doesn't become a feasible wait.

While statistics show that those who are over 50 are less likely to lose their jobs than younger workers (probably due to the last-hired first fired protocol some businesses use), other stats indicate that if you are in the minority of older workers who get the boot, your chances of reentering the workplace are extremely poor. One article I read recently said that those who are 30something and in hiring positions don't like hiring their "parents."

In light of these facts, I can't help thinking about my layoff at USA Today last year and how it was particularly cruel. The search for viable work goes on, of course, but the odds are getting worse by the day according to the unemployment numbers, trends and the many first-hand tales being told by average Joes who have been looking for work longer than me.

NYT article shows job openings are still rare

For anyone who thinks the job market is getting better, or that employers are becoming more willing to hire people who want to make a transition from one field to another, read this New York Times article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/22/us/22hire.html

Unemployment statistics for the D.C. metro region were released this week. The numbers showed another slight increase in joblessness. Even in Northern Virginia, which remains relatively healthy compared with the rest of the country, unemployment was up. One has to wonder how long this will gone on before our entire society is transformed into something unrecognizable.

Looking beyond the obvious when hiring

One of the most difficult things to do in searching for a job is to transition from one field to another. Even if professions are related, employers are less likely nowadays to give opportunities to job seekers wishing to utilize their skills in a slightly new venue. In this recession, employers can find exactly the skill-set and experience levels they want. They don't have to take a chance on someone outside of a particular field, even if that person appears to be a great fit.

I think that is a mistake for businesses. Without reaching beyond the normal borders, companies can tend to get a bit stale. Many journalists move from media to public relations. Because they have the communications and research skills, it's a natural move, and it benefits both the agency and the former journalist. But you don't see that kind of transition happening much anymore.

Going further back, to the mid-1900s, many folks made huge transitions. My grandfather was a farmer in New Jersey before landing a gig as a photographer for the New York Post. He got the job because he showed initiative in making a picture of a jailed organized crime boss. He sold the picture and himself to the Post. He didn't go to photography school. He just showed initiative and was handy with a camera.

My father went from truck driver to TV news cameraman. He did have to go to school for training, but doors opened quickly for him after he graduated because he was persistent and had a natural gift and personality for news photography.

I worked for an executive editor once who was a bartender for several years. He swore that that job helped prepare him for newspaper work better than any journalism school could have.

Old-time actors often tell stories of working as fast-food cooks or waitresses before making it big in Hollywood. They too were discovered by someone with a keen eye for talent and given a chance to blossom. No one was overly concerned about resumes back then.

While there are many opportunities in modern society, there is also a tendency for employers to pigeon hole people. I think this comes from laziness and lack of creative thinking more than anything else. The best companies try to seek talent in a variety of places. They also explore the various hidden skills and interests of people already on the payroll to see if they would be good candidates for a promotion or transfer to another office. If nothing else, this is good business. It keeps people motivated and productive.

Employers have a great opportunity right now to break out of the box in terms of hiring. There are many people looking for jobs who are eager to try something new, something they might even be better at than what they previously did for a living. New ideas and perspectives are also good for business. Just ask the "big three" in Detroit what the status quo can do to a business.

As we mature, we have a better understanding of ourselves and what we are best suited to do. For instance, many folks discover they are better at teaching than managing. But without employers giving people a chance, many folks will will go undiscovered. This isn't good for those individuals who are seeking work or for society as a whole.