Reflecting back while looking forward

In 1994, after less than a year at The Associated Press in New York City, I was selected to go to Atlanta to cover the Super Bowl between the Buffalo Bills and Dallas Cowboys. It was quite an honor, especially considering there were far more experienced editors at AP than me at that time. I was so proud of being chosen that I kept my press pass for all of these years.

Even after I left the AP, I was contacted about a year later and asked if I wanted to return. I was flattered. They were offering me a better job than the one I had before. I declined for personal reasons. Soon after, I went to work at USA Today in Northern Virginia -- one of my favorite newspapers in those days. After hopping around a lot for the first 15 years of my career, I figured USA Today could be my last stop -- one of those places one goes to where they earn their gold watch after a quarter of a decade of service. I got my five and 10-year anniversary awards, but fell far short of 25 years.

Career moves came easily for me back then. In my first job out of college, I was promoted into a managerial editing position within my first six months. I was soon on a track to become a publisher in a small chain of newspapers, but I decided I wanted to live in Florida more than I wanted to be a publisher in Virginia. So after a short stint on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, I got a job as sports editor at a small paper south of Miami. I covered the Miami Dolphins and Hurricanes as well as the high school sports scene and professional boxing. Those were good years. Not much pay, but a lot of fun.

It never took me more than a few weeks to find a new job when I was younger. Sometimes they were marginally better jobs, sometimes they were significant leaps. It didn't dawn on me that I would be without work. I was fairly versatile and had a good work ethic that my bosses always seemed to appreciate. And it certainly never crossed my mind that I would be laid off.

Then on December 2008, as readers of this blog know, I was was laid off from USA Today after working there for 13 years. That was quite a shock.

The real harsh surprise for me came in the months following my layoff, when I began to search for work and encountered walls that were never there earlier in my career. I turned to friends and former colleagues, seeing if they could help. This was always a good method of finding work in the past, but not now. The recession wasn't helping, but there also seemed to be other forces working against me. The newspaper business began crumbling. A couple potential employers shockingly held it against me that I had worked at USA Today for so long. The national newspaper and parent company that owns it aren't well-liked within the industry for various reasons. It was guilt by association.

My early days at USA Today were filled with fancy office parties, views of Washington, D.C. from our windows and a pretty good newsroom staff. It was always tough work, but as a third-generation journalist, I was accustomed to the late hours, deadlines and contentious nature of the newsroom.

Here is a picture of me (left) at my first USA Today Christmas party in 1995 with two of my former colleagues who are still at the newspaper -- Dash Parham and Dave Merrill. These parties were very extravagant. The paper was doing well. The booze flowed. The shrimp were large. If you worked in journalism, it was a good place to be. Lots of resources. In fact, USA Today's parent company, Gannett, more or less had a hands-off policy when it came to its flagship newspaper. We enjoyed our independence and did good work. Eventually, Gannett got more involved with USA Today, which led to layoffs at the newspaper most people thought was immune. Read about the bonuses received after those record layoffs.

A lot has changed in the news business and my own career since the mid-1990s when that picture was taken. Essentially, I don't have a career right now. While I feel far from obsolete or incapable, I can't deny that finding work at this age is far different than finding work at 30 years old. There are days when I think back to how easily things flowed, the people I have met, the places I've been. And yet, things are so different now that it often takes my breath away how quickly one can go from cruising along in a modest career to ... well, I will let you fill in the blank.

One of the many lessons that I have learned from this is to never take anything for granted -- not even your own abilities. There is always something lurking out there somewhere waiting to take you down. If it's not a layoff, then it could be an illness. If it's not an illness, it could something else. So it's good to treasure what you have and not get too caught up in the little difficulties of a career, relationships or just everyday life, because when it's prematurely gone, it's awfully hard to rebuild.

Whether or not I get another shot remains to be seen. Whether I work inside or outside of the media, my batteries are recharged. I have a new perspective on work and life. I believe I have more to offer to an employer now than I did when I got laid off. Finding that right fit isn't going to be easy, but if I do I know that the latter years of my career probably will surpass the early days in some profound ways. Job satisfaction, I suspect, will come from other sources that don't necessarily include fat paychecks, free Heinekens and trips to the Super Bowl.