Steven Tyler, the 61-year-old singer of the rock band Aerosmith, fell off a stage in South Dakota a few weeks ago. See the video: http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/06/steven-tyler-aerosmith-falling-fall-stage-video/Tyler had to be airlifted to the hospital with multiple injuries. Now this could have happened to anyone of any age, but the fact that it happened to an aging rocker, who tends to act a little silly for his years, made more than a few baby-boomer fans of the band cringe. We don't like to see our idols from our youth embarrassing themselves, let alone get injured or die. I am sure prior generations felt the same way about Elvis and even Sinatra. One became a drugged out caricature of himself (I am talking about Elvis, not Michael Jackson), and the other simply couldn't hit the notes that he once sang with a silky ease because of old age. Yet, there was a nostalgic factor that kept fans coming back for more. And I am sure most entertainers thrive on fan support like a CEO feeds upon rising stock prices.
I suppose it's hard for anyone to walk away from what they like to do. For an entertainer, and those who have been cheered for decades by audiences, it must be extra difficult to call it quits. Look at Willie Mays in baseball a few decades ago. A mega sports star whose final years on the field were painful to watch. Now we see Brett Favre in football not wanting to hang them up.
But it's not just entertainers. I haven't met too many men who truly want to retire. They might curse their place of employment every day, but I doubt many career guys honestly long for the shuffleboard courts of Boca Raton.
Women, however, seem to have an easier time walking away from jobs and careers. Their identities seem less connected to their occupations, which is probably why they are more grounded than men. Men tend to run around creating wars, committing crimes, leaving their children at an astonishingly higher rate than women.
Now don't get me wrong, some women will go to great lengths to hold onto their looks, personal or professional interests, and to their relevance in society. But by and large, it's men who go out and buy a new Corvette with each decade crisis and chase their secretaries around the office in order to feel good about themselves. The male ego is quite a force.
I snickered a bit when I heard of Tyler falling off the stage. In some ways, it was a nervous reaction on my behalf. I've tripped over more than my fair share of guitar cords in recent years -- bumped my head on microphones and strained muscles awkwardly lifting amplifiers. And I know that it's all related to being a bit more clumsy in my 50s than I was at 18. Of course, unlike Tyler, I am not coloring my hair and wearing uncomfortable shoes, while prancing around like it's 1975. In that way, I am aging more gracefully, I think. More accepting of where I am at.
Still, a man does feel pressure to do a lot of different things to try to stay in the game as they get older. There is always some young lion waiting to take you out. That pressure often leads us to do very dumb things. But the less fanciful among us usually just start blogging or joining Facebook to show we are current and still viable.
Tyler's real name is Steven Victor Tallarico. He is originally from Yonkers, N.Y. My full name is Michael John Calvacca. I guess we all, figuratively speaking, have a stage name or persona we carry with us through our careers and life itself.
Dream on Mr. Tallarico.
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